my parents saw my...

Well four days late my parents saw the hickey on my neck. My stepmom laughed and my dad didnt say a thing. I guess they really dont care. Well right on for me. IF they cared they would of siad something or nothing at all. They are acting normal though. Brandy had her first day of work today at the Disney store. Right on. I saw Danny and surprised him with a distorted cake. I will never forget that his B-day is January 19 and now i definately wont forget because i have it hear. So ha! Well he went to a concert... with his ex. I know he is having a blast though he doesnt want to admit it. Im sure she isnt making it awkward in anyway. Hmm... Ambers dad is in the hospital so my best wishes are being sent to him. I hope he is doing ok. Well he comes hom tonight. Melissa was cold towards Amber and myself when we went to her work. She was being very stuck up and it was not cool. It really hurt my feelings. Then i had to deal with phone ppl with Amber and then take out four screaming and annoying boys. They were completely rude and inappropriate. The best thing bout the night was when i talked to danny oh wait no it wasnt. After i was stressed and i had to deal with a bunch of crap danny was very condescending and i just didnt like his tone. It really upset me. Well after i "yelled" at him i guess i felt better? i never yelled at him but w/e. yeah after that amber and i chit chatted and then we were done. We went to sleep but before we did we got into a fight and we started beating each other up ... it ended when i gave her a titty twister. Yeah it was funny as hell. Well thats it for Friday and then on Sat we visted ambers dad and then made a cake for danny and i think he liked it. Im not sure. Oh well i dont really care all that much right now. I am so happy and just idk... hehe he`s a kill joy. Well thats it. My plans for tonight SLEEP and tomorrow help my stepmom and then i dont know we will see from there. ttyl luv ya`s xoxoxoxoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo

my lil accessory

ok so i had a hickey on my neck and not to many ppl noticed which is cool. My coach did and i wasnt to happy bout that. I love hickeys because i think they are retro and a cute accessory and i love how it feels when you get them. Well my day was ok. My english teacher will be out for a while which is a lil sad but hey what can you do? I dont know. I began talking to my mom again adn it was just awkward i mean i wasnt that happy to but it needed to be done and i dont know... she makes me depressed. I know how bad is that? Well i let myself so i shouldnt really blame anyone but myself. i mean im being retarded i guess. Well i cant wait till this weekend! I was suposed to hang with danny on sat but he is going to a concert so i think Robbie and i will hang. We havent been talking and we have a rocky friendship that needs a lot of repair. Friday a group of ppl i know are going skating and i think that would be fun. Amber got her wallet stolen. Oh and i was actually talking to lissia and i wanted to take a few ppl to disneyland as a surprise since i have connections. I was going to have me, lissia, Amber, Danny, and two of his friends come with. Whatever though he ruined it. i still want to though. it was funny how he brought up how we never go out. We have gone to a book store, the beach, the movies, and im not sure where else. Its hard not to compare a relationship to the last when there are a lot of the same sits. When he brought up the fact i never seem like i want to go anywhere right away i thought of Aaron and it made me uncomfortable. I dont know hmmm.... we should go out more i guess. It has just been hard trying to balance school, Danny and Friends. I feel like i should be in a circus. I feel like i would be on of those perfroming girls on a highwire juggling. It get tiresome. Well i gtg cuz i have to email a bunch of crap to a someone. Sara and i havent talked in a while and it makes me sad... Well i gtg. Luv ya`s xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo

Boring day

So danny and i were hangin and he gave me tree decorations. i love them, they say princess and Rebecca. We had fun though we didnt have much time to hang out. School was boring and im tired as hell. Well nothing else. Luv ya`s xoxoxoxoxoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo

my weekend 2

Danny met my dad and he likes him. My dad wants to rape my danny. It is so funny. He really likes him despite the weird questions he was asking. He was just messing around and he siad he wants to get to know him better which is a good sign i think.. well to be honest im not entirely sure. Oh my god i was so worried. Well apparently Collin did some stupid things and karma came around to bite him in the ass. Well he got the back window bashed in adn that where danny was sitting which worries me. I dont know but it just pisses me off that Collin is how old and making these kind of decisions that could endanger others. Well i was worrying all night last night that Danny could get hurt or have a bad time. I love it when he is happy but at the same time i would rather him be safe. I havent had a chance to talk to him bout it yet but once i do then i think my nerves will settle. So the lady cut my hair a tad short and i got upset. i ate soup and now im talking to melissa whoot whoot.Melissa loves me she confessed it today. SHe said i complete her. My lil sis is laughing in the background and i have noticed that she laughs alot. We bought a fake xmas tree today. I am a lil sad bout that but i guess w/e. No its not w/e its important to have a real tree. I love it the fresh smell of pine first thing on xmas day. So i have made my entire Xmas list and here it is...
Becca`s amazing xmas list:
1.) one full day (24 hours) with Danny alone
Yep thats my amazing list. i love it too. Well my friend Melissa is going to start writting in her blog soon and that makes me a very happy camper. Well lets see... My foot is falling asleep. Last night a fell asleep listening to Bob Marley. I loved it. I got to hear tu amor this morning which is awesome cuz i have two songs for Danny and thats one of them. Grrr-rawr. Ok so Anthony keeps calling me up asking if i have plans for the weekend or if he could come and pick me up from school. He says he really wants to see me and i just dont want to. Well i think if i get a group of friends to hang out then he can come and maybe then he will stop pstering me. I dont know though. He invited me to go do some things that i would of had to lie to my parents bout and i just didnt want to. i like it when my parents and i get along. Yes that does include my mother. i feel bad for Zac he is grounded and that just sucks i mean seriously! I am excited for tuesday so i can see my hero and then thursday is important. Its the OC. It was so cute Zac and i slept together yesterday.Well not together but like at the same time. We both were really tired adn we were talking on the phone so we decided to go to sleep and since we went to sleep at the same time hence slept together. Sorry weird but i wanted to explian that so ppl wouldnt get the wrong impression.HE is breaking up with his gf soon. i am happt for him cuz i dont like her.Joe and Bob are comign back from the marines soon and that makes me happy. i dont know when ian comes back but i hope its soon. He is such a funny bunny. I adore them all. I hope they get to come to school and speak. You know what i mean?Well nothing much besides all those lame details of my life. eww i just felt my hair. Its like an inch or two below my shoulders. I hate it and i with it was longer. Well ill write later hopefully tomorrow. luv ya`s xoxoxoxoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo

Im nervous i must admit

Tomorrow Danny is going to meet my dad. I am really nervous bout it but i know he will do fine. I am more nervous about how my dad will act to him. To be honest i dont care what he thinks of him though. I know Danny doesnt believe me but honestly my parents approval doesnt mean shit to me. Why should i worry bout how they feel? Why should i worry bout how anyone feels bout him? All my girlfriends are all really supportive and think he`s a doll. I talk bout him all the time and when i talk to him i know a lot of girls get jealous. See whenever they talk bout their b/f`s they always complain where as i only talk him up. I make him out to be a real life superman. My hero today had a huge battle with a box opener and he did get a war wound but man o man i know he did a number on that cutter. It was a sneak attack so he wasnt fully prepared. Its almost like the times he wrestled a gator or the time he was swimming with the sharks. YEah he swam with the sharks and they went hunting together.They even wentdown to Mexico and partied it up. He wont tell me what happened, but im assuming what happens in Mexico stays in Mexico. The only thing he brought back was the word jawsome. lol. Yep thats my hero for you. Yeah i exaggerate just a tad but how much better was my story? Much better i think. Oh yeah so back to the main topic. All the girlies are great, but the guys are sketchy. Some of them are like my brothers. I have formed a new family cuz my family is a little disfunctional. Well i have a new family ive created and all the guys like to take care of me. Im like the baby. I know its weird but it true. All the guys get a little over protective. They keep saying stupid things. They all were trying to convince me he was cheating. They dont really know anything but i was a lil gullable and i started to believe them but then after a while i was just like go yourselves. I dont give a f**k! Other guys are trying to sabatage us. Its so lame and i just pretend and play into it but when they start talking real crap i go off. I dont understand why ... well i know bout Zac and a few others... I am scared to tell Herbie and im worried bout telling Robbie.The last time we talked he asked if we could get back together and i just said sorry but imnot ready for a relationship. Two or three weeks later i am all of a sudden? I just try to steer clear of that drama. I had a special present for Danny planned out but my step mom ruined it. I dont get my step mom. She is really hurting my feelings because she keeps telling me that he is just my toy and im going to break up with him in bout 2 weeks.It seems like she is practically couting down. Well i dont plan on breaking up with him. I know i have commitment issues and everyone would agree with that but at the same time right now nothing can make me happy but him.He just brings a smile to my face just when i hear his sweet voice. I havent told him im scared of commitment because i dont want to admit that aaron hurt me anymore. I mean he was so great and fabulous or so i thought... and my friends thought. I just remember the week before he broke up with me i told him i thought he fell in love with me and not what i could be. I know i made him cry because he was the first guy i had fallen in love with. I would do anything for that kid but it was never enough. He just wanted me to change and as much as i tried or wanted to i finally realized i cant. My friends said good riddens because all i would do is cry whenever he came around. I would cry at how he would make me feel, what he would do, and just ugh! I remember the first time he told me he thought bout us in the future and he could see us beign married. yeah he brought up marriage. I also remember the first tiem he called me his property and the second and the third and etc... we always fought but yet everyone thought we would last a really long time.Well guess what he broke up with me on our three monthes. I dont care anymore though. I am over it and mostly over him. After that i remember the whold Josh drama. After that Paul came along and i dont regret our time together but i do regret the reasons why i did some things. I just wanted him to see me the way i saw him and care bout me the way i care bout him. I realize that will NEVER happen because the only person he cares bout is himself. It makes me sad even till today. Then a week after that the whole Zac drama came along. I was so fed up cuz i used Zac. I mean PAul was the last guy to truly hurt me and as much as i wish i know he wont be the last. Well i took out all my frustrations and everyting and just gave up. I do regret things that happened between me and Zac. I feel like i have destroyed our friendship to a degree. I feel there are more people rooting for us to fail then there are for us to go the distance. To be honest i still dont care even after looking back.HE makes me happy. HE makes me smile. HE encouragres me. The biggest reason why im not going to break up with him is becuase he said things to me last night that believe it or not i believe him. HE told me he would wait for me and that he wont get back with Tanya. He told me that im worth the wait and he would wait even longer for me. I know its corny but no one has ever said that and meant it. I think he means it... No, i know he means it and thats why i know this one is a keeper. I love him so mucha dn i fall for him more and more everyday. I do still want his friends to like me. I cant wait till i meet his sister and neice. i love kids and if his sister is like him or his parents then i know i will adore her! Right now though i dont feel to happy. Not cuz of him of course... Its just i feel like im sinking into a hole. I just dont want to move and i dont want to smile. i dont want to do anything. I just want to lay still and watch things pass me by. I dont really want to be living my life i kind of jsut want to watch it. I feel depressed. Very few people change that and i hate it cuz it reminds me of last year. I know i am going to fail everyones expectations and worse of all im failing my own. Iw ant to take chare and i will change that though. Well thats what i keep telling myself. I hope things change soon and i can smile just becuae i am appreciating the things around me. Until then i just dont know what to do. I am sinking lower and lower but i will just keep trying to pulll through. Eww that sounded emo i should go jump off a cliff now or better yet wrestle a box cutter. lol then i could be superwomen. Well i am going to head out. I am still tired adn recoverign. i will try to keep you posted bout Dannys encounter with my Dad. Cross your fingers cuz im nervous. I hope Danny approves of my Dad ;-) luv ya`s xoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo

Im nervous i must admit

Tomorrow Danny is going to meet my dad. I am really nervous bout it but i know he will do fine. I am more nervous about how my dad will act to him. To be honest i dont care what he thinks of him though. I know Danny doesnt believe me but honestly my parents approval doesnt mean shit to me. Why should i worry bout how they feel? Why should i worry bout how anyone feels bout him? All my girlfriends are all really supportive and think he`s a doll. I talk bout him all the time and when i talk to him i know a lot of girls get jealous. See whenever they talk bout their b/f`s they always complain where as i only talk him up. I make him out to be a real life superman. My hero today had a huge battle with a box opener and he did get a war wound but man o man i know he did a number on that cutter. It was a sneak attack so he wasnt fully prepared. Its almost like the times he wrestled a gator or the time he was swimming with the sharks. YEah he swam with the sharks and they went hunting together.They even wentdown to Mexico and partied it up. He wont tell me what happened, but im assuming what happens in Mexico stays in Mexico. The only thing he brought back was the word jawsome. lol. Yep thats my hero for you. Yeah i exaggerate just a tad but how much better was my story? Much better i think. Oh yeah so back to the main topic. All the girlies are great, but the guys are sketchy. Some of them are like my brothers. I have formed a new family cuz my family is a little disfunctional. Well i have a new family ive created and all the guys like to take care of me. Im like the baby. I know its weird but it true. All the guys get a little over protective. They keep saying stupid things. They all were trying to convince me he was cheating. They dont really know anything but i was a lil gullable and i started to believe them but then after a while i was just like go yourselves. I dont give a f**k! Other guys are trying to sabatage us. Its so lame and i just pretend and play into it but when they start talking real crap i go off. I dont understand why ... well i know bout Zac and a few others... I am scared to tell Herbie and im worried bout telling Robbie.The last time we talked he asked if we could get back together and i just said sorry but imnot ready for a relationship. Two or three weeks later i am all of a sudden? I just try to steer clear of that drama. I had a special present for Danny planned out but my step mom ruined it. I dont get my step mom. She is really hurting my feelings because she keeps telling me that he is just my toy and im going to break up with him in bout 2 weeks.It seems like she is practically couting down. Well i dont plan on breaking up with him. I know i have commitment issues and everyone would agree with that but at the same time right now nothing can make me happy but him.He just brings a smile to my face just when i hear his sweet voice. I havent told him im scared of commitment because i dont want to admit that aaron hurt me anymore. I mean he was so great and fabulous or so i thought... and my friends thought. I just remember the week before he broke up with me i told him i thought he fell in love with me and not what i could be. I know i made him cry because he was the first guy i had fallen in love with. I would do anything for that kid but it was never enough. He just wanted me to change and as much as i tried or wanted to i finally realized i cant. My friends said good riddens because all i would do is cry whenever he came around. I would cry at how he would make me feel, what he would do, and just ugh! I remember the first time he told me he thought bout us in the future and he could see us beign married. yeah he brought up marriage. I also remember the first tiem he called me his property and the second and the third and etc... we always fought but yet everyone thought we would last a really long time.Well guess what he broke up with me on our three monthes. I dont care anymore though. I am over it and mostly over him. After that i remember the whold Josh drama. After that Paul came along and i dont regret our time together but i do regret the reasons why i did some things. I just wanted him to see me the way i saw him and care bout me the way i care bout him. I realize that will NEVER happen because the only person he cares bout is himself. It makes me sad even till today. Then a week after that the whole Zac drama came along. I was so fed up cuz i used Zac. I mean PAul was the last guy to truly hurt me and as much as i wish i know he wont be the last. Well i took out all my frustrations and everyting and just gave up. I do regret things that happened between me and Zac. I feel like i have destroyed our friendship to a degree. I feel there are more people rooting for us to fail then there are for us to go the distance. To be honest i still dont care even after looking back.HE makes me happy. HE makes me smile. HE encouragres me. The biggest reason why im not going to break up with him is becuase he said things to me last night that believe it or not i believe him. HE told me he would wait for me and that he wont get back with Tanya. He told me that im worth the wait and he would wait even longer for me. I know its corny but no one has ever said that and meant it. I think he means it... No, i know he means it and thats why i know this one is a keeper. I love him so mucha dn i fall for him more and more everyday. I do still want his friends to like me. I cant wait till i meet his sister and neice. i love kids and if his sister is like him or his parents then i know i will adore her! Right now though i dont feel to happy. Not cuz of him of course... Its just i feel like im sinking into a hole. I just dont want to move and i dont want to smile. i dont want to do anything. I just want to lay still and watch things pass me by. I dont really want to be living my life i kind of jsut want to watch it. I feel depressed. Very few people change that and i hate it cuz it reminds me of last year. I know i am going to fail everyones expectations and worse of all im failing my own. Iw ant to take chare and i will change that though. Well thats what i keep telling myself. I hope things change soon and i can smile just becuae i am appreciating the things around me. Until then i just dont know what to do. I am sinking lower and lower but i will just keep trying to pulll through. Eww that sounded emo i should go jump off a cliff now or better yet wrestle a box cutter. lol then i could be superwomen. Well i am going to head out. I am still tired adn recoverign. i will try to keep you posted bout Dannys encounter with my Dad. Cross your fingers cuz im nervous. I hope Danny approves of my Dad ;-) luv ya`s xoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo

Im nervous i must admit

Tomorrow Danny is going to meet my dad. I am really nervous bout it but i know he will do fine. I am more nervous about how my dad will act to him. To be honest i dont care what he thinks of him though. I know Danny doesnt believe me but honestly my parents approval doesnt mean shit to me. Why should i worry bout how they feel? Why should i worry bout how anyone feels bout him? All my girlfriends are all really supportive and think he`s a doll. I talk bout him all the time and when i talk to him i know a lot of girls get jealous. See whenever they talk bout their b/f`s they always complain where as i only talk him up. I make him out to be a real life superman. My hero today had a huge battle with a box opener and he did get a war wound but man o man i know he did a number on that cutter. It was a sneak attack so he wasnt fully prepared. Its almost like the times he wrestled a gator or the time he was swimming with the sharks. YEah he swam with the sharks and they went hunting together.They even wentdown to Mexico and partied it up. He wont tell me what happened, but im assuming what happens in Mexico stays in Mexico. The only thing he brought back was the word jawsome. lol. Yep thats my hero for you. Yeah i exaggerate just a tad but how much better was my story? Much better i think. Oh yeah so back to the main topic. All the girlies are great, but the guys are sketchy. Some of them are like my brothers. I have formed a new family cuz my family is a little disfunctional. Well i have a new family ive created and all the guys like to take care of me. Im like the baby. I know its weird but it true. All the guys get a little over protective. They keep saying stupid things. They all were trying to convince me he was cheating. They dont really know anything but i was a lil gullable and i started to believe them but then after a while i was just like go yourselves. I dont give a f**k! Other guys are trying to sabatage us. Its so lame and i just pretend and play into it but when they start talking real crap i go off. I dont understand why ... well i know bout Zac and a few others... I am scared to tell Herbie and im worried bout telling Robbie.The last time we talked he asked if we could get back together and i just said sorry but imnot ready for a relationship. Two or three weeks later i am all of a sudden? I just try to steer clear of that drama. I had a special present for Danny planned out but my step mom ruined it. I dont get my step mom. She is really hurting my feelings because she keeps telling me that he is just my toy and im going to break up with him in bout 2 weeks.It seems like she is practically couting down. Well i dont plan on breaking up with him. I know i have commitment issues and everyone would agree with that but at the same time right now nothing can make me happy but him.He just brings a smile to my face just when i hear his sweet voice. I havent told him im scared of commitment because i dont want to admit that aaron hurt me anymore. I mean he was so great and fabulous or so i thought... and my friends thought. I just remember the week before he broke up with me i told him i thought he fell in love with me and not what i could be. I know i made him cry because he was the first guy i had fallen in love with. I would do anything for that kid but it was never enough. He just wanted me to change and as much as i tried or wanted to i finally realized i cant. My friends said good riddens because all i would do is cry whenever he came around. I would cry at how he would make me feel, what he would do, and just ugh! I remember the first time he told me he thought bout us in the future and he could see us beign married. yeah he brought up marriage. I also remember the first tiem he called me his property and the second and the third and etc... we always fought but yet everyone thought we would last a really long time.Well guess what he broke up with me on our three monthes. I dont care anymore though. I am over it and mostly over him. After that i remember the whold Josh drama. After that Paul came along and i dont regret our time together but i do regret the reasons why i did some things. I just wanted him to see me the way i saw him and care bout me the way i care bout him. I realize that will NEVER happen because the only person he cares bout is himself. It makes me sad even till today. Then a week after that the whole Zac drama came along. I was so fed up cuz i used Zac. I mean PAul was the last guy to truly hurt me and as much as i wish i know he wont be the last. Well i took out all my frustrations and everyting and just gave up. I do regret things that happened between me and Zac. I feel like i have destroyed our friendship to a degree. I feel there are more people rooting for us to fail then there are for us to go the distance. To be honest i still dont care even after looking back.HE makes me happy. HE makes me smile. HE encouragres me. The biggest reason why im not going to break up with him is becuase he said things to me last night that believe it or not i believe him. HE told me he would wait for me and that he wont get back with Tanya. He told me that im worth the wait and he would wait even longer for me. I know its corny but no one has ever said that and meant it. I think he means it... No, i know he means it and thats why i know this one is a keeper. I love him so mucha dn i fall for him more and more everyday. I do still want his friends to like me. I cant wait till i meet his sister and neice. i love kids and if his sister is like him or his parents then i know i will adore her! Right now though i dont feel to happy. Not cuz of him of course... Its just i feel like im sinking into a hole. I just dont want to move and i dont want to smile. i dont want to do anything. I just want to lay still and watch things pass me by. I dont really want to be living my life i kind of jsut want to watch it. I feel depressed. Very few people change that and i hate it cuz it reminds me of last year. I know i am going to fail everyones expectations and worse of all im failing my own. Iw ant to take chare and i will change that though. Well thats what i keep telling myself. I hope things change soon and i can smile just becuae i am appreciating the things around me. Until then i just dont know what to do. I am sinking lower and lower but i will just keep trying to pulll through. Eww that sounded emo i should go jump off a cliff now or better yet wrestle a box cutter. lol then i could be superwomen. Well i am going to head out. I am still tired adn recoverign. i will try to keep you posted bout Dannys encounter with my Dad. Cross your fingers cuz im nervous. I hope Danny approves of my Dad ;-) luv ya`s xoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo

Nomality

Ok wow i have a bad head ache and i just want to sleep. i dont think i will call Danny tonight again just because i am so freakin tired and i dont want to bore him. I swear i love talking to him and i wish i could right now. So anyways. My day was ok i guess the first thing that happened was dealing with a confrontation. i went up to Mitchel when he was with his friends and i yelled and said some mean things. I really dont care what people around me thought i just wanted to let him know that i wasnt digging his crap. So i was how you would say it very direct and blunt. I took an easy math quiz and i got to use my calculator. i can hear my baby sister talking up a storm in the background right now and my stepmother playing with her. Sometimes i love being here and other times i feel like an outcast. Is that normal in your own home? I guess to me it is. Then again what is normality? I mean what makes someone normal. When i see a kid that looks like a hooker i say that is just dumb and they look stupid. I would never say oh yeah since they are dressed as a hooker they must be normal however, they see themselves as normal. I dont get why we all have different views on the matter but at the same time its a good thing because it seperates us all from one another. Our thoughts are our individuality. I mean i think it is incredible. I love the human mind and human nature. Right now im reading invisible man. Its by Ralph Ellison and everyone is reading it and looking at it through his eyes however when i read it i see greed. i think he is envious of everything not just the physical freedom some have but of literally everything. Then he discusses the hole in the ground which is supposed to be literal. I dont think that a man would live in the hole in the ground. I mean i think if you look at it through a metaphorical aspect you would see a difference. I think he is talking about the racism and how he shunned from society. he is not accepted into the habitat of which the whites have progressed and controlled during the 1920`s. Then he says that the empire state building is the darkest place. ho could you take that literally. I mean if you really think bout it you would see that he is discussing acceptance. He just straightout saying that because he lived in New York he can see that he is not able to go far because the whites are oppressing him. I think its amusing and fasinating to read this and see how eveyone else around me can see the same thing while reading it and i see it differently. Does that put me within the norm or outside. This also allows me to relate to the main character within the novel. I am really enjoying this book. Lets see today i had to think of new ideas on how to change the pool and discuss fund raiser ideas. We want to get a new pool for aour school and its going to cost 1.2 million dollars. this project is kin of stressful because mt coach would like me to help raise 200 thousand dollars by the end of the year. i fear that we are setting ourselves up for failure. I guess i just need to stay focused adn possitive. i dont want to be pestimistic over something like this. I mean i little faith and hope can make it happen and hopefully encourage others to join in the cause. Other than this theres really nothing new to report. Oh well now its offically ok to sing xmas songs. My parents are already getting annoyed of me. Update: I strectched and within a month i should be able to do the splits. I mean at least i can still do the bridge!!! Well gtg luv ya`s xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo

Goodness gracious it feels good to vent

Ok now im freaking out. Its over nothing too. I feel like im in the wrong right now. Ok i feel sooooo guilty because last night danny told me he was going to a concert with his ex for her bday and he bought them a year ago. I was fine with it. Well i told my friend that and he laughed he said i was kidding and i told him no. Then he got a serious tone. "becca concerts dont sell tickets a year in advance.Six monthes at most but never a year." Now i trust him i really do but then i started wondering to myself why did he lie to me. Well benefit of the doubt he bought them a few monthes ago and they split. He just forgot to keep track of time. I mean that sounds valid to me. Well then why did she know bout me before i knew bout him. Then Mitchel a guy from school that i know and talk to on a daily basis was talking crap bout me to Danny. I am a little nervous because Danny thought for a moment that it could be true. He should trust me. Which makes the whole situation with his ex even mopre confusing and makes me feel worse because i should trust him enough to know that yeah it can sound fishy to others i know its all ok... dont i? I dont know anymore. His friends dont like me very much which i am becoming to terms with considering his friend collin is a total ass. I really dont care what he thinks. Eddie and Albert i guess i do hope they like me or grow to like me. All my friends just adore him. Well Aaron found out bout me and Danny and now his evil revenge is failing. He got back together with his ex. I said a few things to my friend Zac that i never should have said and now im nervous to talk to him but i want to sound confident. I called PAul as well on Friday and oh my goodness gracious. I definately said some things i shouldnt have said. I dont know why but oh god i could jsut die of embarassment form that call in paticular. lol i hope somehome he deleted it without listening to it. Oh god please say thats what happened. Melissa isnt talking to me and amber anymore and i feel that i lost one of my best friends. No matter how hard i try or Amber trys we just cant get her to ever want to be friends with us or go back to the way we once were. It really hurts. Worst of all my mom is just... idk. I guess after always hearing it will get better i will chang you would think i would get the picture that she is not going to. Well this time i believe that she wont. i think i refuse to get hurt again and i refuse to deal with this. I got a stupid ticket that says now i have to go to safety school just cuz the stupid ass cop had somehting up his ass. GAY!!! Amber never came over and i had to watch my sister by myself which was a gift and a burden. I was couped up the whole day but at the same time i got to bond with her and feed her choclate cake. Lol. Its funny to watch a baby eat cake. I just love watching her and playing with her. She is one of the best things in my life. Eric was so funny he was rating the most important things in my life. And oh my goodness...
1.) My sunglasses 2.)Eric 3.) Money 4.) Paul 5.)Eric..... 103039894394893820233.) Zac
Well thats not the order of most important things in my life but if it floats his boat then ok. Oh yeah to top it all off Danny likes wow better than me sometimes and he has to smoke before he sees me. Well that felt good to vent. I have been holding it in for the past two days and now its just there. Well i gtg im going to play my own little nerdy obsession.... hehehehe. Oh and is it weird if your boyfirend says the hottest thing he ever heard you say was i love the old star wars but no the new? lol ok yeah i thought so to. I still love him because he may be nerdy adn sometimes say things that aggitate me but other than those two things he is perfect and i love him this much *stretches arms as far as possible* oh yeah. ;-) oh i cant do the splits anymore but that is now my new goal: To do the splits. I will keep you updated until i can and i will tell you bout Amber diabolical plan of San Diego that i havent told Danny yet. Yeah i want to tell him first before posting it over the internet. lol. Again ill ttyl. luv ya`s xooxoxoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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im tired

Gosha im so tired... i need to finish my paper and i just dont know if i have the energy lol. well ill find it cuz Danny wants me to finish this paper. Well nothing really new to report. I guess i just am tired. Nothing new happened except i got to harass a 24 hour fitness guy it was funny. well ttyl luv ya`s xoxoxoxoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo