yay

So I wrote a few big news companies and told them how I felt about the lack of coverage on teen violence. I was soo skilled that I dint get a response back lol. Tomorrow I have a special French Club meeting tomorrow and I will be going to a very nice and fancy place called the melting pot. I am very excited. The best part is a three couse meal for free. Yay I am sooo excited this means a lot to me. Right now I am listening to music. I love my music. Goodness gracious I miss Damiean. He makes me out to be jsut a friend to his friends, but too mine I dont mask how I feel or what I wish for. A lot of people say dont get your hopes up. I tell him I dont have my hopes up but in reality I do. It sucks. If it doesnt work out I will be hut but no matter what we will be friends... Wont we? I dont know. I am just really scared of getting hurt. Josh and Danny have really hurt me bad. i mean honestly its hard to trust a guy, but I am doing my darndest to. I know it shouldnt be this hard, but it is. It will get better I am sure. Lets see I am no longer talking to Richard and I still am not. Well some guy tried to force himself on me.That was no fun. No worries nothing happened I was able to control the situation. I was very ahppy for that I mean it meant a lot to me. I need to work on that. I cant put myself in these type of situations anymore. Its really not safe. i just need to well I dont know... get more common sense. I will eventually. Ya know? LOL well anyway. I guess thats all i got for now. So I will ttyl. luv ya's xoxoxoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo

Marina High school, bomb threat

This is from the OC register:

HUNTINGTON BEACH– County bomb squad officials investigated a threat written on a classroom window at Marina High School today, sending explosive-sniffing dogs in around 8 a.m. following a call from school officials.
Four Huntington Beach police units responded to the initial call after school staff found a threatening message written in permanent marker on a campus window, prompting the evacuation of all students to the school's football field, police Lt. J.B. Hume said.
Classes resumed at about 10:48 a.m. when the campus was cleared of any potential threat, Hume said.
Around 2,700 students milled about the field for the first two periods of the school day, 16-year-old Max Fisher, said.
"I'm not particularly scared, but it's disturbing this threat comes so soon after the one at Westminster High last week," Fisher, a junior at Marina, said. "It's not funny, like all threats to schools, and I wonder when it may become serious."

bomb threat

Today at my school there was a bomb threat. I thought it was rediculous, but oh well I guess. Shit happens ya know? Well I am safe and nothing did happened. Someone wrote on the wall that there would be a bomb that would go off at 10:30am. I am glad nothing happened. i was alil nervous but that was mainly because everyone else made me nervous. Now there is a huge line outside. I hope my dad can come get me. i dont want to be here. Its just a bad situation that I would rather take myself out of just in case. Ok well I will ttyl love ya's xoxoxoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo

I should trust myself more

Sometimes I should listen to my better judgement. I tried to cut out Stephen, but he called me and said sorry. We talked and I have forgiven him. We havent been talking as much. I think its for the better. Then Richard and I made up. I told him that I just want tobe friends if we continue to talk. I thought he understood that. Apparently not. On Friday we made up and he said he still wants to make it work and I said no. it just cant and I told him straight out that I had feelings for someone else. I told him that my feeelings were stronger for the other person than it was for him. He said no we should try to make it work. I said lets try to be friends first and then play it by ear. Saturday he called everyone trying to get a hold of me. I was sleeping by the way. He wanted me to go to a family barbque. <--- I have no idea how to speelthat so I will just say b.b.q. Well when I called him back all he did was complain about so much. He complained about how we dont see each other enough and blah blah blah. I saw him yesterday by the way and technically early ass morning since we were out till about 3am. I was annoyed. Then on Sunday, Amber was being a lil.... was acting like a lil priss and that really upset me ya know? We were supposed to go dancing. We had it planned for a week. We got thereand all she did was bitch and moan before we even got in the place. I told her I dont want to deal with her shit so we should leave. We left. I get annoyed because I will always go above and beyond for my friends and they really dont make too much an effort anymore. I think this whole week I am just not going to do anything. I need to study anyway. Plus maybe there wont be drama. Oh yeah and then on Sunday apparently I spent to much time with out mutual friends then I did with him which is total bull. I mean I was trying to include him and he kept saying hewas tired and dint want to talk. Then he got mad because I wasnt affectionate though I said we should just be friends. I was really upset. Well then we wentto breakfast at 1am. There was a very attractive guy over at a table across from us. I glanced over and then everyone started to make fun. i was laughing until Richard got up and made a huge deal in front of the entire restaurant about how I wanted to be with him and how i really liked him... I was so embarassed.We all went outside and he went to his car so I followed. I asked what was wrong and he told me, it was all my fault for not paying enough attention and for supposedly using him. I was just like what theheck are you talking about. He sat there quietly andwaited for me to apologize. I just got up and left after an awkward silence. I was very hurt and still am after he started to yell at me and make a scene. He made everyone leave and then sent me a message today about how I lost a friend. That obviously was not areal friend like I thought. On friday I went to a bonfire from 7-10pm and it was so fun. THey played the guitar and we all sang. I got to play volleyball whichI was probably the worst player there lol. I mean I was honestly terrible at that game. Thats ok I made sure I was on the team with all the best players lol.They made up for my lack of skills. We roasted marshmellows and then we all cuddled and just talked.Then we had a marshmellow war. We caught someone on fire and had the cops called on us for soemthing. No worries though, a couple of guys sweet talked us allout of any trouble. It was a lot of fun. Then I tried to be friends with my ex. He is just so... I dont know Ithink he was a cool guy. maybe he thnks I want him I dont know. i wish he know that, that just isnt the case. I guess we will have to see ya know. Maybe he just doenst like me for who I am as a person and not just cuz he is an ex. I dont think our relationship was even real considering the fact the we went on a break for a week out of the whoping 1 month we were together. lol. Oh well I guess I can make the effort but it doesnt mean he will respond right? I think I am a good person desptie what hethinkgs so I honeslty dont care for right now. He is a good guy overall and I have nothing, but good things to say about him. I guess that can go for alot of people I know. Goodness I miss Damian, but no worries I will see him in July and we are spending the 4th of July together. He is amazing. I love everything about himincluding his flaws. I guess that really is a good thing. I adore him and the great thing is he likes me too. We are making progress. We are slowly working at it. We have been daiting since last summer when we can. I know it will work because we both care about each other so much. I love him so much. I dont care where or when I say it. I would even shout it too the heavens. LoL. Well only time can tell I guess, but I personally can only see the best in our future. ok well ttyl love ya's xoxoxoxoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo

Why ruin it?

Ok so today was pretty intresting. I mean I got security at my school involved in a lil problem I am having with a girl that not only graduated late, but also cant get any friends outside of a highschool. She is just being rediculous. i am so over her drama. She doesnt care about anyone but herself. i am now runner up for school treasurer at my school. I got a job! Yeah now I work at subway. My first job. it is really exciting. i am mad at my friend asshole for telling me the outcome of American Idol. I am really upset. I have watched every episode adn it is really cool to me... but without thinking he told me. It really hurt because its like when someone ruins the end of a movie while you are watching it. I just dont get it. I am going with my friend Amber to Boston in July for two weeks. She is then going to Canada and then Alaska. I hope she has fun. i get to spend a month with Damian in Boston. i cant wait. I miss him so much. I dont think it will work out in the end, but for now it nothing serious and I adore him. Thats pretty much it. He doesnt tell me anything and that really sucks but what can you do u know? I made up with my ex today and now we are friends. HE is being really cool about everything and he asked me for advice on a personal issue. i feel like we ar emaking progress. Now my love life sucks. Stephen pretty much tried to use me for some sexual activites. I said no and then just spent the night with him. We only made out and everytime he tried for more I said no. i was really proud of myself, but suddenly he tells mehe cant see me anymore. I was just like whatever to you. We had a great date before that though. I mean honeslty! We went dancing, watched fireworks, listened to a violinst play love songs, watched the fountain, and just had a grand old time in one anothers company. I am so happy to have had a night like that. Unfortunatly it all got ruined. My friend asshole, wants to date and I said yeah, but now I am having second thoughts. I mean he is my best friends ex, my best friends, we fight a lot, his friends hate me, I may have fooled around with a couple of his friends, etc... My ex Danny, well his school got evacuated apparently. I dont know if thats the truth or not, but if it is I would really like to ask him. He wont talk to me though. I am kind of sick of trying to be guys friends. I mean its like either I am with them and once we break up they refuse to talk to me. It very dramatic. Or they want to be with me and if I say no then they get really upset with me. I feel like I honestly cant win. No matter how hard I try, I will never be able to win. Oh well I guess. Its always a fun expierence. i just hope Josh stops sending me nasty emails. It is starting to wear thin. He tells me he will do horrific things to me if I dont get with him and that he will kill himself if I dont agree to marry him. i am just like yeah... about that... lol. I mean I really care but we have been on and off for the past 3 1/2 years. At this point I just really dont think it will work. Lets just call it a hunch. FridayI was supposed to go out with Stephen but I think that idea is shot out the window. ON saturday I am going to dinner with my friends. Sunday I am going dancing and on Monday I am going to the beach. i think this should be fun. Ya know? Well ok I dont think it will be fun. I need to stop myself from thinking of all the negative. I mean I hope I do. Well yeah.... If i can stop then it will be good I am sure. My mom is on her 6th date tonight. i am hoping that it goes very well. Ya never know right? Maybe this will end up being her next girlfriend. Ok well I guess thats all the intresting things I have to report for now. I am sure I will have so much more lter. This weekend should be intresting! love ya's xoxoxoxoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo

वेल्ल

I am tired of guys ever since being used this weekend। Everyone knows what I am talking about and everyone gets why I am so emotionalI am mad at। I am pissed as hell at richard though he is apologizing right now for being mean। I guess I still feel bad। GRRRRR... I am going crazy as hell. I feel mad, sad, and just bleh...love ya's xoxoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo