drama

Ok so apparently ppl have been talking sayin that im cheating and thats now me and all of u know that well the ppl that know me at least. Ok well the thing is that i love him and thats all that matters. he makes me smile! A lot of ppl just dont understand and a lot of ppl keep asking y r u with him? Well the final time he makes me happy. I see a future with him and im soo happy for that. Seriously i couldnt imagine not seeing him or being able to talk to him. Ok we have issues and well i hope that we can work them out but its hard i guess. I mena our biggest issues are trust and communication. Sometimes i dont tell him enough how much he means to me and that he does so much right and makes everything better. He feels as if a lot of crap is his fault and its not. He should apologize. i know should but i have a lot of pride i admit it. today at the beach we had a long in depth conversation bout all thats wrong and how we want to solve it. I dont know if it will get soled but if it doesnt then we shouldnt be together but i hope it does cuz i want to stay with him for as long as i can. He is soooo perfect for me. he treats me right and seriously when i talk to him i know hes actually listening. I thinks i hate the fact that he doesnt talk but in reality i appreciate it sooo freakin much. I just wish he could talk to me so i can do the same for him. I feel bad when i cant listen and just be there for him even over the littlest things. I always feel like im doing something wrong and thats not right... I know i know. I just wish i could prove to him that he is my everything and so much more right now. We fight but from now on im not goin to listen to anyone else. Im sooo easily influenced but thats all goin to change. From now on im going to think for myself in everyway!!! Yay me. My friend amber went on a kinda sorta date with his brother and i hope they go out again because Ari`s brother is sooo sweet and funny. Oh he can moon walk!!! Yeah thats right. Sorry i just think thats the coolest thing. SO today we went out for ice cream to make ourselves feel better and i got the cotton candy which looked like neon playdo worst of all it tasted like it to. Oh then i had mexican food i was thinking of going and surprising Ari with some lunch cuz i think he works tomorrow. I dont know though... I still feel bad. Ok it was sooo bad like how i was feeling that the only thing to make me happy was goin out to eat and then shopping. I got a new shirt, two new sandels, a purse, and omg best of all NEW BABIES!!!! I GOT MY NEW SUNGLASSES!!!! that made me smile so much im such a happy camper because of that. Nick would laugh at me. hehehe well i brok them today and i was just so flippin sad. I was definitly a sad panda!man my eyes hurt cuz im soooo freakin tired. Well i think ill actually try to sleep like 8 hours at least tonight. Knowing my luck thats just a fantasy. Oh and the gayest rumor started that im cheating on Ari with Nick. HAHAhaha thats sooooo stupid and i know who started it and im pissed. Well if u knew nick u would laugh too. It feels weird that there is sooo much about Ari its just yesterday.... today.... there was just sooo much drama. The beach was great though. Amber and i pretended to drown to have the hott and oh sooo buff life guard ocme save us but he dint.... so i went up to him to ask him if there was anywhere good to eat at and he told us then i told him i was drowning and demanded some sort of compensation for my pain.We got sunflower seeds hehehehehehe. It was sooo chill. My friend lissa is going to ciy and im happy for her. Hear that? Im happy for u lamo!!!!! My mom still hasnt called me which pisses me off. Lets see oh yesterday with the life guard he was a douchebag so i said they were blowin each other, he was over paid, a lazy bum, and i used a great line of ... ok wait heres wut happened he was trying to say only go to ur waist. I asked y and he said the current was strong and we would get pulled out. I looked at him and said ok well then u can come and save me with a smile and he rolled his eyes. Thats y i started bieng so mean to him. Well my lil sis is falling asleep and so am i.... so ill write later. The whole poin t i guess iw as trying to make ......long story short..... i wish i could tell ari how much he means to me and how sorry i am. Oh and the beach was fun. The 26th is the concert so u better be ready liss and Amber!!!! luv yas xoxoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo